Monday, July 2, 2007

Scene: Our Childless Future

(A Jewish son is test-driving a Prius. His non-Jewish GF is in the passenger seat. His Jewish Mom and a Toyota Dealer are in the back seats. The son is deciding between a Toytoa Corolla and a Prius.)

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Dealer: "One thing you should consider, if you're single, is if you're planning on getting married or having kids in the next three to five years."

GF: *shakes head vehemently* "that won't be happening."

Mom: "No Kids?"

GF: "No kids."

Mom: "Wait . . . ever?"

GF: *silence*

Mom: "Wait, (Son), I thought we discussed this. You'd have kids and raise them Jewish" *nervous laughter*

GF: (Repeats) "No kids."

Mom (to GF): "I don't like you anymore. Where's the eject button?"*silence fills the car*

Mom (to GF): I was just kidding. I still like you. I don't want my son to call me later and tell me I hurt your feelings."

GF: "It's okay."

Mom: "Really, I'm just kidding."

GF: "I'm not."

Mom: "No kids?"

GF: "No kids."

Dealer: "Well, anyway, it's just one thing to think about . . ."

~End scene~

2 comments:

Carrie said...

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand scene.

The Frustrated Dinosaur said...

We'll have a magical, silent, invisible kid named "Ten Hours of Sleep A Night." He'll be great, we can go to Europe on a whim or go to concerts on week nights and he'll be fine. (Thanks, Patton Oswalt.)

Also, for anyone who was wondering how the story ended...I got the Prius.